By Akanksha Gupta Last Updated:
When someone close to our heart dies, a part of us goes with them. Every loss leaves an insurmountable pain that is hard to cope up with and time heals everything doesn’t seem to hold true in case of losing someone to death. Adoption, IVF and surrogacy come under the sensitive (read taboo) subjects in our nation and just how we are taking steps towards making a change in the society amidst such medieval thinking, there’s one other topic that needs our attention. And that is, abortion. Women are often shamed for 'murdering an unborn child'. But what we don’t know is how difficult it must have been for her to make that decision and the reasons behind it. It’s high time that we address the topic of abortion more to remove the stigma attached to it and instead of shaming them, help them with our solidarity and support. (Also Read: Nisha Rawal Shares Video Of Her Struggles Post Giving Birth To Her Son Kavish Via C-Section Delivery)
Main Lakshmi Tere Aangan Ki fame, Nisha Rawal had started her Instagram page, The Motherhood Chronicles, wherein she shares her motherhood experiences, tips and facts about pregnancy with her to-be mommies' followers. From early signs of pregnancy, clothing and hacks for to-be moms, pregnancy sleep positions, intimacy during pregnancy, the role of a man in his wife’s pregnancy, post-partum depression for men, mom shaming, pregnancy hacks to sharing glimpses of her pregnancy journey and motherhood phase with her little munchkin, Kavish Mehra, Nisha talks about everything she has experienced in a hope to help everyone out there.
Nisha Rawal is married to Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai fame, Karan Mehra and it was in June 2017 when the couple had embraced parenthood with the arrival of their first child, Kavish Mehra. But in her post on elective abortion, Nisha revealed that they had lost a child in 2014 by terminating their pregnancy. Nisha captioned her video as “ELECTIVE ABORTION - I always say I only talk on topics that I have had experience on. So here I am, sharing the most difficult topic to share! Losing a CHILD, is a loss that I could compare to losing a limb, not a day goes by, when you don’t remember your lost child.”
Speaking about how it feels on losing a baby and the closure she had wanted to give her baby but couldn’t, Nisha Rawal began her video by saying, “Losing a baby through elective abortion. I have said many times that I only talk on topics that I have had experience on. So, here I am sharing the most difficult topic to share. There’s so much resistance happening in my body right now, when I say these words. I just wanna shut down and hide myself where no one can see me. But I want to brave this because I know it’ll help you and in turn, it will help me to heal. Losing a child is a loss than I can compare to losing a limb. Not a day goes by when you don’t remember your loss child. My experience, I wanted to write a letter and throw it in the sea. I wanted to complete my incomplete journal, take printouts and then burn the pages. I wanted to cry and mourn and grieve and lock myself up. I wanted my partner to be there for me and just be there. I wanted to see my baby. I wanted to hold my baby. I wanted to spend the last few moments with my baby. I wish I could do the last rites for my baby. Even if the above-mentioned sounds silly as per societal standards, it does give closure. And you get to decide how you want to give your baby a closure.” (Also Read: Nisha Rawal Slams Trolls Who Belly-Shamed Her By Asking If She's Pregnant, Proudly Flaunts Her Belly)
Revealing the courage she had required to open up about her weakness and vulnerability to her fans and followers and the mental health issues that cropped up by suppressing her feelings back then, Nisha Rawal continued, “Instead what did I do. I hired a trainer and went all out, making a body that I had always wanted. So why am I not happy about it. Because after that, started a series of mental health issues because of the suppression of my feelings and diversion towards something that I shouldn’t have diverted towards. Not without grieving. I did not grieve and so some part of my heart is constantly grieving and I don’t know which part. I am so lost. People usually know me for my positivity and all smiles and this require me to gather tons of courage to show my weakness and vulnerability. I was badgered by my weight gain, every time I walked the red-carpet people asked me if I was pregnant and social media and so on.”
Addressing the lessons she had learnt from her experience and slamming the societal standards set on how one should react after going through a loss, Nisha Rawal said, “The lessons I have learnt are the only regrets I have in life and I want to share that with you today to help you find that lost you. See the baby if you wish to, don’t listen to anyone except your heart, mourn and grieve and stay there until you feel. You don’t need to meet everyone or take anyone’s calls if you don’t want to. You can always call them back later, they’ll understand. The loss of a child is a great one, whether the child was unborn, toddler or a grown up. don’t fight it or act normal because we’ve been conditioned to prove to the world on how we should behave after going through a loss. There’s nothing strong about not facing your grieve. Don’t be strong because others tell you to. You are weak and you want to stay that way. You want to process the pain and not run away from it. It’s dangerous and will stay with you for life otherwise. Let the memories of the baby be there for you, not the regrets.”
Speaking about her experience on elective abortion and why they had to terminate their pregnancy in 2014, Nisha Rawal revealed what she calls her unborn child and concluded, “You must be wondering what am I talking about. Yes, we lost a baby. She lives in the baby heaven and I call her, Angel Rawal Mehra. September 6, 2014, she was five months old and she was unborn. The worst is we terminated the pregnancy because we were medically advised to do so. She suffered from Trisomy 18, which is a chromosomal disorder. She had three holes in her heart. It’s like one day we were planning her nursery and other day, I wasn’t pregnant anymore. My tears are still fresh, my wound is still unhealed, my memories are still crisp and my regret, it grows stronger than ever and that’s why, it was important for me to tell you this. Please, process your pain, don’t run away from it, take your time. Time doesn’t heal if you don’t participate in the healing process. Acknowledgment of your loss is your participation. Just grieve.” (Also Read: Shilpa Shetty Would've Died During Her Birth, Shares Scary Birth Story When She Was In Mom's Womb)
So proud of Nisha for opening up on her experience with abortion and taking a step towards removing the stigma attached to it.