By Sreejan Guha Niyogi Last Updated:
These days, many youngsters prefer getting married to someone they have been knowing well, rather than letting their families choose a partner for them. However, the current trend in several metro cities seems to be something else. Living with their partner before tying the knot looks like somethig that youngsters opt for these days. Couples who choose this option, say that it helps them know each other better and get more compatible before getting married. But, what they feel the best part about it is, that you can skip a divorce and the legal proceedings in case you decide to part ways.
However, just like in a marriage, you have to invest some effort to make your live-in relationship work. In fact, it requires more thought as it is a “no strings attached” commitment. So, here are some very simple yet crucial things that you need to remember if you wish to make your live-in relationship work.
You both are in a committed relationship and share a home. Bear in mind that you are not roommates in a hostel! Therefore, informing your partner of your whereabouts, or telling them if your friends are expected for dinner, or apologising for a mistake that you made, is not about sacrificing your self-respect in any way.
In fact, these simple things will make you two bond even more, and bring in the “family” feeling over simply “living” together. Keeping in touch even while travelling, sharing joys and sorrows, and being a part of each other’s celebrations nurture the feeling of companionship. This makes the live-in arrangement more fun and fulfilling.
The concept of “no one is flawless” might be easy to say and accept. However, accepting that you might have faults yourself can be very difficult. But, the fact is that if you wish to make this (or any!) relationship work, you have to fully accept that you are not perfect. Once you accept this, you will also accept your partner’s mistakes or any habits that you find irritating.
Also, a very common mistake many people make is to pick on their partners’ bad habits once the initial mushy phase is over and the routine begins. This can be seriously damaging to a relationship. So, the next time you find something annoying in your partner, think of the good times you spend together and their thoughtful gestures. You will soon learn to ignore most flaws and this will be reciprocated for sure.
A live-in relationship is not like a conventional marriage. Couples live together bearing in mind that they share everything from the house to its responsibilities. Therefore, if one becomes a little dominating, the other might not be in a mood to bear with it. Therefore, setting some basic rules can come in handy while trying to make it work. Many couples share duties like washing, cleaning, paying bills or rent, grocery shopping, attending phone calls, etc. This avoids the trigger for unnecessary arguments and fights.
Other important rules that you can set could be, not taking a fight to bed, not invading each other's space, focussing on spending quality rather than quantity time together, etc.
“She fought with me again”, “He keeps finding faults in me to pick a fight”, and many such statements are common in relationships. Well, the fact is that any issue that can hurt your partner can eventually hurt your relationship, technically ruining it in the long run. There is no problem that cannot be solved by a calm discussion. Calling the simplest argument “a fight” and saying “we fight a lot!” or “we never agree on anything” can do more harm than you can imagine. All you need to do is let the moment pass and try to think from your partner’s point of view.
Another important thing to remember is not bringing up past fights while arguing or discussing. The most crucial thing is to let go of anything that you think can lead to a fight. Remember, it is not about compromising, but all about understanding and helping each other, that strengthen the relationship. Many couples tend to make a simple fight a reason to breakup, as there is no legal bond tying the two. But bear in mind that if you wish to make it work and strengthen your bond, you must learn to resolve fights and move on together.
Just like marriage, a live-in relationship is a well-thought decision that requires a lot of commitment and effort for it to work. But with these ground rules kept in mind, making it successful and happy would not be difficult for you at all.
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