By Sucheta Dhoot Rathi Last Updated:
Jealousy in a romantic relationship can make a person feel more loved and special in the early stages. Most women, often take jealousy as a sign of re-affirmation of their man’s love for them. A little possessiveness and jealousy is completely acceptable in love affairs, but what happens when these attributes go a little too far and start creating problems in your love life?
It is difficult to clearly see the signs that often differentiate between just a 'harmlessly possessive' boyfriend and a jealous man who wants to control your every action. So, here goes a list of some of the signs that will help you know if you are in a relationship with a jealous and possessive guy.
When everything you do provokes your man to lose his cool or create a ruckus, then it is time for you to re-evaluate your relationship. Does partying with friends, attending calls of other boys, staying late at office or making plans to have dinner with some other people make him go red? Even if your simplest of actions, where you are not even at fault makes him scream at you, then it is a sure shot sign of him being a jealous guy.
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So, you might have noticed that your praiseworthy comments about someone else, especially about someone of the opposite sex, make him uncomfortable and visibly upset. Talking about others or a certain someone all the time may irritate your man, but if he gets upset just at the mention of a one-off thing, then it is sheer jealousy that he harbours.
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It is okay for your man to know your whereabouts. But if he insists on knowing every single detail as to whom you are with, when you will get back home, and with whom you come and leave from office, then his behaviour might be deemed as strange.
Have you noticed your man getting visibly upset when someone of the opposite sex compliments you? When praises from others send him into a fit of rage, then you can be sure that he is being jealous.
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Does your man get a little mushy in the presence of other men? It may not be a bad thing for your guy to shower affection in front of others. However, if he makes ‘too much of a show’ of his feelings in front of other men than when only you two are present, then he may be trying to show that you are his lady and no one dare come near you.
If the guy you are dating wants to scan your mails and text messages, every call you make or receive, stalks you to see where you go and with whom you hang out, then it is a sure sign that he is jealous. Such actions just go on to show how obsessed he has become with you.
Have you noticed lately that your boyfriend yells at you for the silliest of things, gets into an argument without any valid reason, and ends up fighting with you for no fault of yours? If so, then it is quite clear that he is getting more jealous and insecure.
If he seems to be in a good mood one minute, but acts strangely the next, precisely when you get a call from someone else, then it might indicate extreme insecurity. Watch out for mood swings and the frequency of his behavioural changes to assess if his jealousy is getting the better of him.
Does your friendly conversations with other male friends or your good rapport with your ex-boyfriend make him go green with envy? Then it is a sign that he is not among those who can be cool about your decision to maintain a cordial, friendly relation with your ex.
When photographs with your ex-boyfriend irks him so much that he gets into a big fight with you, then you can be sure he is turning green with envy. In fact, he is being driven by jealousy only, when he desists you from keeping gifts that you recieved from your best male buddies or ex-boyfriend.
Does he make nasty jokes about your male friends and judge their characters in a bad manner without them being at fault? Clearly, it is an awful habit of some jealous men to talk badly and behave nastily in front of their ladylove’s male friends.
Does your boyfriend have the habit of constantly staring at you in parties or in crowded clubs or rooms? Chances are, he may be trying to keep a check on how you behave with others or whether you indulge in any sort of mushy behaviour with other men.
When you are out with your friends or family, your man repeatedly messages you and insists that you message him back instantly, then that is a clear sign of jealousy. Does a few minutes of delay in responding to his text messages or mails make him come up with accusatory statements such as these? “what interesting thing did you find in that other man that kept you away from replying to my messages” or " it seems you can not see anything else when you are in presence of other men.” These prove that he is being plain jealous of you hanging out with others.
If your man visit your friend list and check constantly whom you have added on social networking sites, or whose messages you have responded to on such sites, then it is clearly not a good sign.
Are you dating a man who thinks that he should have the final say in everything you do? Where you should go, what activities you should pursue, how often you should meet with your friends, and where you should work? If so, then he is certainly a highly jealous and controlling man.
Has your life turned completely into a remote-controlled one where every move you make is dictated by your man? Has it come to such a stage in your relationship that he insists on going with you wherever you go, even to ladies night outs and parties where he might not have been invited, then it is clearly high time that you talk to him about how his jealous behaviour is creating problems for you.
If he is fine with you wearing short skirts, micro-minis and tank tops when you are with him, but not in the presence of other men or on outings, then certainly something is wrong with him.
Despite being completely honest and transparent in your relationship, does your man look at you suspiciously? Have you noticed him cross-questioning you or asking your servants or friends about things such as how often do you party, where you go for night outs, who else comes and goes from home in his absence. He might also go to the extent of questioning your colleagues to check up on your stories on why you get late while returning from work. If such is the case, then he is… do we need to say it again?
Jealousy can seriously damage your relationship and stifle your happiness. Hence, it is best that you learn to spot the signs of jealous behaviour in your partner and come up with a solution before it gets too late.
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