By Meenu Bahuguna Last Updated:
The mantra to build a strong relationship is to lay its foundation on truth and integrity. However, ‘postponing’ a revelation does not mean you are lying! Of course, we do not endorse portraying a false picture, but it is also important that you know how and when to reveal certain things.
When it comes to arranged marriages, the parents of the boy and the girl interact first. Parents should keep in mind that there are certain details that are not important enough to be disclosed in the very first meeting. Remember, this meeting is not the final one. It is purely meant to understand whether the boy and the girl are suitable for each other or not. So, here are certain things that parents of the prospective bride and the groom should avoid discussing in the first meeting itself.
The first and the most important rule for parents is to forget about the past relationships of their children. The prospective in-laws would definitely not want to hear about your child's ex-relationship or breakup stories. That may lead to an uncomfortable silence, which you surely do not want. Just remember, everyone has a past. So, this topic should be best left alone for your children to discuss.
Never ever disclose the type of wedding you want to have in the first meeting. Until you are sure that the match you are trying to make is going any further, there is no point talking about simple or lavish wedding celebrations. Remember, the size of the wedding you want may have financial connotations. These topics are only meant for a phase when both the families are comfortable and committed enough to make compromises and get into an agreement.
You might have millions stashed away, but the first meeting is not the time for such revelations. When you go for the first meeting, make it all about your children and not how much money you have. Understand the family and their culture before getting into such details. A girl’s parent would obviously want to know that their daughter will be financially secure after marriage. But, a parent’s main concern is always about their prospective son-in-law’s capability to take responsibility on his own. And, the boy's parents should not expect expensive gifts if the girl's parents are very wealthy. Remember, that dowry is illegal. Millions of ancestral property has no bearing on a relationship at this nascent stage. If anything, it will come across as a not so ‘humblebrag’.
If your son/daughter suffers a health problem, like a cold, flu or sensitive stomach with changing seasons, then it is fine to drop such inconsequential details. As long as there is nothing that can make a major impact on this lifelong relationship, the first meeting is definitely not the right time to reveal such unnecessary details. Remember, you are not there to look for a prospective nurse for your son/daughter.
The first meeting is about getting acquainted with one another. You can always dig deeper in further meetings. Expecting people to take things positively in the very first meeting is not the right way to approach this sensitive relationship. Moreover, you are not even sure if the match will be confirmed or not. So, think about it, before bringing up such topics in the first meeting.
Marrying someone whom you have just met is a daring step in the true sense. A person you don’t know much about, but are considering spending the rest of your life with him only because your parents’ think he is the right choice for you is not an easy task.Read More