By Jasbina Ahluwalia Last Updated:
With so many hopes and fears we can bring to our dates, it is no wonder that we can often get in our own way. If you are prone to bad dates, you may start assuming straight off the bat that the person is terrible for you, and if you are prone to falling in love quickly, you may end up wasting your time in dead-end relationships. Here are three ways to keep your eyes open, and your heart open-minded, during the early stages of dating.
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Before you go out on a date, you have to clarify what you're looking for (i.e., your personal deal-breakers). This doesn't mean your priorities can't change, but it does mean that you need to have some guidelines in mind. Once you do, you can start listening to how your date views life, and whether or not their views are compatible with yours.
Everyone is trying to make a good first impression in the first few months, but people can't hide forever. There are hints if you allow yourself to observe. If something seems fishy at the beginning, listen to your intuition. If you can't get a satisfactory answer, don’t just ignore or dismiss it.
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You will miss out on so much if you stick with your assumptions and preconceived notions, which admittedly can be difficult to do. For instance, just because your date is conservative doesn't mean they want to pass out guns at every street corner. Or just because the person says they care about fitness, doesn't mean they're personally attacking your weight or lifestyle. And just because they say they care about commitment, doesn't mean they want to get married in the next year or two.
You are playing a very delicate balancing act when dating, which is why so many people make mistakes in the beginning. It is neither effective to attempt to force the other person to tell the truth, nor to grill the person about their intentions. Although if staying true to yourself is your priority, it is extremely important to maintain both an open-heart and open eyes.