Question
Hello, I am Aastha due to get married next month and my fiancé & his family are really good. The only thing that is bothering me is the supposed name change (in addition to the last name as the custom is) they have suggested keeping in view some kind of horoscopy calculations. This has been a tradition in our community for quite some time but I am really not up to changing my first name as it will affect my career adversely.
How do I go about communicating the same to my family and in-laws with some degree of success and least trouble?
Answer
You should go about tacitly relating these issues to your family and in-laws. Making your fiancé understand the issue at hand is the first and foremost thing to do. His support is going to be crucial in making them see the point. Aastha whether we like it or not but Horoscopy and astrological calculations still rule the roost when it comes to marriages and match-making in the country.
If the family astrologer has convinced your in-laws that changing your first name in accordance with the horoscope of the groom will bring immense good luck, then a lot of effort will be required to make them see your point. Nevertheless, do give it a try. Make them calmly and convincingly see the reason in how changing your given name will affect your sense of identity as well as professional career.
The problem of last name can be solved a bit by the occidental system of hyphenating. More and more numbers of brides in the country are hyphenating their maidenly last name with the last name of the groom. Though in this case also, you will need to notify several government agencies, RTO, corporate bodies etc about the apparent name change.
You will be relieved immensely by knowing that the system of changing last names was created in order to build stronger emotional bonds between a bride and the groom’s family. In India, patriarchal society exists, so brides are required to take up the groom’s last name. Amusingly, in South-East Asian countries, it is the other way round.
