By Manvi Malhotra Last Updated:
A relationship goes beyond what two people experience inside their love paradise. It is not just about two people, unlike popular belief. Marriages, especially in India, are the union of not just two people, but two whole families. In such a scenario, differences in ethnicity, cultural backgrounds, religious beliefs, and family beliefs can complicate a relationship and cause both the partners a lot of stress.
The couple who is in love easily manages to get over this cultural gap. But, when it comes to the families, the real game begins. It is possible to get over cultural differences by having a mutual respect for one another's backgrounds and trying your best to understand and incorporate your differences. Though it may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, you do need to make some efforts to settle into your new life. Here are some things you can do.
Follow all their rituals to the T, and make sure you do this with full excitement and honesty. You will enjoy the whole process and will bond with your new family too!
Your festivals, your cuisine, your language, etc. Make sure all of you are well versed with each other’s cultures by the time you get married to your married
You never know what their beliefs mean to them. So, never ever pick up an argument with them regarding their faith and belief systems.
Like, for example, if you do not understand something they are saying because of language constraints, do not take it otherwise. Instead, make a harmless joke about the whole situation. This will help you in maintaining a comfort level with them.
Being prepared is always better than being in sticky situations later on. If you know them a bit beforehand, you will have a fair idea of what to expect.
Do not miss out on any festivals of your respective cultures, instead celebrate them all together. That will just help you bond together as a family and will also help you in getting to know more about each other’s backgrounds.
There will be times when you will get irritated, and then the same thing might happen to your partner too! You have to remember that just like their culture is new to you, yours is new to them too. So, they will have their own set of worries too! Just make sure that in every situation, you and your partner are each other’s strengths.
Go out shopping with your mom-in-law, go for family picnics, ask them to tell you stories of their early married life or your spouse’s childhood. You might not understand the importance of these things now, but they really help.
For example, it is a notion among many people that Punjabi food is spicy, and if you are someone who is married to a Punjabi, but do not like spicy food, you might not make an effort of tasting their food at all. Do not do this. Dil ka raasta pet se hoke guzarta hai, remember?
Your in-laws will be really happy if you cook for them, and that too something which they probably might not have tasted earlier.
Be their translator, explain the rituals, and everything to them in detail. This will make things a lot more convenient for you and your partner, and both the families.
With time you will realise, how easy it is to gel into a new culture if you get a hang of their language.
If you are facing any problem in adjusting to the new life, do not keep it locked up inside you. Talk it out with your better half. You will realise that your problems are not that big once you discuss it with your partner.
Sometimes, you and your in-laws might fail to diasagree upon a certain issue. In this case, instead of locking horns with them, learn to compromise. But yes, if it becomes a habit for them to not adjust with anything, then you should talk to your spouse.
It is a new experience for everyone involved. So, it might take some time for things to work out in everybody’s favour. Just stay calm and positive. Everything will fall into place, if it hasn’t already.
So, now you know of a lot of things which you can do to gel well with your in-laws despite your cultural backgrounds being poles apart. We hope these will help you! Also, if you have any more ideas to add to the list, tell us in the comments below.