By Megha Sehgal Last Updated:
A successful marriage is just like a team work in any game, which requires team bonding, significant changes, game plan and participation from all members. It is mostly the minor differences in the regular things that causes the major differences, and even frustration sometimes.
Especially men find it difficult to chug down these sudden changes in their lives after marriage, unlike (most) women who are often reminded of them ever since they hit consiousness after birth. So, here we are to tell the new grooms how to be prepared for surprises that the new life throws at them.
Marriages are not at all a solution for loneliness and boredom; neither do you get married just for the sake of it. The middle ground in a marrige means, the compromises required in the long journey for a happy married life. Most marriages usually struggle on this one count. Leave the 'ego' behind the doors, and find the solutions to tackle the adjustment issues– whether you value your individual beliefs or the relationship. Adjustment is not something only women should do; you too need to make some adjustments.
Studies show that women need better sleep at night than men. And, as per their findings, it was stated that if a woman does not get proper sleep, then there are chances of a fight next day. But, if a man has not slept well, chances of a fight get considerably less. So, let your wife get some good night's sleep, and help her by doing some early morning stuff on her behalf. The idea here is to give her the rest time as much as you can.
Romance is not just about candle-lit dinners, or chocolate-covered strawberries and scented candles. Not all, but many women appreciate it when their husbands make an effort to spend time with them. You can start by asking your wife about her day; talk to her about work, late updates about their families and the news around. Most wives expect their husbands to be affectionate and understanding. Discussion on various things and especially the things she likes, spending quality time together yet giving her own space, would bring her closer to you.
Marriage is not just about tying two individuals in holy matrimony, but about bringing two families together. And, while you can excuse yourself citing household duties, it is your wife who keeps the liasion strong. So, when she takes in your family as her own, she expects the same from you. Ideally, my parents or your parents should not exist in a marriage, it should be 'our parents'.
A piece of advice, never complicate relationships over money, it is wise to keep them separate. But, after marriage, you both might want to sit over and discuss your future together, which would definitely involve the 'money talk'. Be it setting up a joint account or separate ones, never take the decisions on your own. Some of the documents should be in your name or joint, but whatever you do, try doing it together. Just keep aside the age-old belief that the money matters are only for the man of the house.
There is no such thing as happily forever, its about the journey to achieve it that gives you some memorable moments. Most marriages do have minor or major fights, and expecting happiness all the time would lead to disappointment. So, no matter what major fight breaks amid you, it is you who shall deal it with love and patience.
A clean home is not just the responsibility of your wife, it is your responsibility too. Forget the old days when your mother used to give a glass of water in your hands at your bed; if you are thirsty, get up and have it. Men should gladly offer the helping hand in doing household chores, like cleaning, watering plants or doing laundry. Helpful husband should be the rule and not just the expectation.
Back in your old college days, you used to know all the details about almost every second girl that entered college. Now being a husband, it does not mean that you would chuck the efforts to know your wife better. Make an effort to know about her more and more. What are her secret desires, her likings, her tastes in food etc.
Marriage is the responsibility that you need to handle gladly; it comes with the label “handle with care”. You just need to take care of some simple ground rules to have a great and happy married life. After all, a happy wife means a happy life!
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