You like your job, finances are good, the social life is fun, but now you are looking to meet that special woman to share your life with. Some guys who have been laser-focused on their studies and careers, haven’t had much practice in the dating department.
Maybe you have already had a couple of bad experiences, or are looking for tips before you dive into the dating pool? Either way, try to keep in mind these five points if you do not want to be rejected by that girl you like so much.
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While being confident is one thing, being pushy is quite another. Do not go all ‘alpha’ on her right on the first date. Begin your interactions in a polite and respectful manner; be a gentleman. Humour is always good (tasteful and non-political, preferably). Read her reactions and gauge how you should proceed. Trust your instincts, but keep the caveman in the cave. Be direct, but do not overdo it.
Okay, I’m not trying to mess with you by contradicting the first item on this list. Rather, it is helpful to realise that there is an ideal middle ground when approaching women, and being too tentative can be just as fatal to your chances as overdoing it. Do you really want to get to know her? Then show it! Skip the aloof, cool-guy act – but do not be too self-deprecating, either.
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It has been said that ‘success leaves clues’, and there is value in observing guys who seem comfortable with women. That said, avoid falling into the trap of ‘playing a role’ when meeting someone new, whether it’s your initial approach or your first few dates. What is the point of that? You will have to show her your true self eventually – you cannot hide it forever! Moreover, if you feel you have to, that is a deeper issue. Best to be your true self, right out of the gate. Women respond to a genuine approach, and you cannot fake that. Needless to say, if you want a future with her, being insincere or dishonest at any level is a no-no.
Yes, there is such a thing. If you are not getting a response after making a solid effort and putting your best foot forward, it is time to politely move on. Bending over backward for too long becomes overbearing, needy and unappealing. If you are getting a cold vibe, give her some space and go back to hanging out with your buddies. Keep an air of mystery about yourself. Many women find that intriguing, and she just might seek you out later.
If you are too much into plotting, scheming and gauging how you might get her to like you, you are missing the moment. The present moment is all we ever have, and it is your best chance to connect with her on an authentic level. If your thoughts are swirling, focus on breathing deeply and really listening to what she has to say.
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Meeting that special someone is possible for you. Use these five tips to avoid getting shot down, and you’ll be well on your way to finding her.
