By Jasbina Ahluwalia Last Updated:
With something as intimate as dating, it can seem impossible not to take it too personally when a guy doesn't call you back, and it is fair enough! It’s the human nature to feel bad and after all, each and every relationship is a two-way track, no?
However, there are things you can say to yourself to help you take it on the chin a little better:
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You are human. On top of that, you are a woman, so you are probably pretty in tune with your emotions. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Do kind things for yourself in the meantime. Then, when the emotion is not serving you any more, just let it go.
Whether single, dating, or in a long-term committed relationship, you are enough. You are valuable and you are worthy of love, as simple as that! Besides, hitching your sense of self-worth onto a relationship is quite a lot of responsibility for two people, who are just trying to get to know each other. Lighten up on yourself as well as your dates.
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The truth is, he really may not be that into you. His level of interest (or lack thereof) does not detract from you in any way. It's simply points to the basic truth that we can't please everyone. So, instead of pulling your hair out trying to figure out why (or even if) he doesn't like you, consider the possibility that the guy is just seeing things through his perspective and his personal tastes. You can honour that without putting yourself down in the process.
There could be tons of reasons why this dude isn't calling you back. Don't presume you know why. Notice that when you do try to presume, you tend to go with the worst-case scenario type of thoughts (that is, you were not "enough" in some capacity, e.g., interesting, pretty, funny, etc.). In other words, do not believe everything you think, and definitely do not assume to know what other people think, too.
Not connecting with someone can sting. What makes that sting worse is if you allow yourself to believe that your "missed connection" was your last true chance for genuine love. After all, how many "failures" from your past can you look back on, and say that if they had not happened, you wouldn't be where and who you are today?
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Sometimes, you just have to dig your way through the coal before you can find your diamond. If you meet a person you do not end up connecting with, tell yourself that you are much closer to meeting the one you will be compatible with.
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