Jill Smokler Kept Ex-Husband, Jeff's Sexuality Hidden For 15 Yrs Before Split, 'My Mental Health...'

Jill Smokler, best-selling author and the founder of the popular Scary Mommy blog, passed away on June 22, 2026. She was 48 years old when she succumbed to a long-term health battle. For the uninitiated, Jill documented her life as a mother through unfiltered, candid revelations on her blog. She later shut it down and moved on to her next blog venture, She's Got Issues. Explaining the reason for the transition, Jill stated that she "got older and was no longer in the mommy phase of life." Besides Jill's blog writing, her split with her gay husband, Jeff Smokler was also a highly-publicised affair.

Jill Smokler stayed married to Jeff Smokler by keeping his homosexuality a secret for 15 years

Jeff Smokler began questioning his sexuality and realised that he was attracted to men two years into his marriage to Jill Smokler. She was the first person he shared it with, who kept the painful secret in her heart for 15 long years. Jill was initially sad to learn that she would have to let go of the man who was her world. She said that she couldn't dissolve the marriage immediately after knowing about Jeff's homosexuality, as she still could not process it and imagine a life without him. She stayed supportive towards him until their divorce. She stated:

“It has been so hard to keep this all in and so isolating. I knew the impact that keeping this for the past 15 years was having on me. I think it impacted my physical and mental health, and I think it impacted my relationships with friends and family."

Jeff Smokler shared having painful conversations with his then-wife before divorce

Both Jill and Jeff Smokler admitted that the decision for separation was extremely tough. Jeff mentioned being depressed in the later years of his marriage due to being unable to express himself fully. He knew his revelation about being homosexual caused his then-wife, Jill immense pain; however, he owned who he was and was unapologetic about it. Jeff said they had deep, emotional conversations about it before deciding how to go about their lives henceforth. Feeling sorry for what Jill had to go through, he stated:

"It has not been an easy road. Jill and I had painful, deep conversations about this. It was not something we swept under the rug...I didn't apologise for being gay, I didn't apologise for marrying Jill or duping her because as she said, that wasn't the case. But I still feel that I owe Jill an apology because whether or not it was intentional, I took away moments of happiness."

Jill Smokler and Jeff Smokler were worried about their kids' reaction to his sexuality and their divorce

Jill Smokler was very worried about breaking the news about splitting with Jeff to their three children, who were aged 9, 11 and 13 at that time. They thought that their teenage daughter, Lily would be "angry and mortified" and that their younger boys, Ben and Evan would be "devastated." After a bit of overthinking, they shared the news with their eldest first. Upon hearing, she gave her dad a warm embrace and said, "I still love you the same." The calm reaction and that level of maturity from a 13-year-old pleasantly surprised Jill and Jack.

Afterward, Lily asked Jill questions such as, "Are you angry?" and "Did you know?", making sure she felt okay. The younger son, however, at first thought it was a joke, but when it hit them, they were a bit sad. After a few hours, they came to terms with it and hung out with their dad; however, they didn't exactly understand the concept of homosexuality or queer in general. Once they grew up, things became clearer to them, and they remained on amicable terms with Jeff, who lived just about three miles away.

What are your thoughts on Jeff and Jill maintaining a 17-year spousal life despite him realising he was homosexual just two years into their marriage? Let us know.

Also Read: Meet Liam Payne's Ex And Son Bear's Mom, Cheryl As 9 YO Becomes Heir To USD 28 Million Estate

Photos Courtesy: Jeff and Jill Smokler, Jill Smokler/ Instagram

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