By Namrata Arora Last Updated:
Getting married is in every sense the biggest life changing step in a girl’s life. She waits for this day all her life and when it is fast approaching, goosebumps and butterflies in the stomach do not seem to leave her side. She’s excited, happy, nervous, sad, apprehensive and shy; all at the same time. She does not really know for sure what the future holds for her, how her life partner will turn out to be and treat her, and how well or not her future shapes.
Thus, to at least be sure that she has chosen the right guy, these are the most important deals she must make with her groom to-be, to have a blissful married life. So, if you are getting married anytime soon, do keep these in mind.
Never hide your salaries, savings and expenditures from each other, and always make decisions regarding spending and saving jointly. Also, always be calm and composed whenever there needs to be a money-related discussion.
Give and take space and allow each other to live their own lives too, without ignoring or hurting the other person! The freedom to go meet one’s friends, to have some alone time, to take an all-girls/boys trip should be there with you.
And to always encourage each other to do the same, be each other’s strength and support and always stand by each other when the rest of the world tries to put you down.
Whether or not others believe you, your partner should trust you enough to know that you are right and thus, have your back. And of course, vice versa!
However big or small it may be, once you are married, you are a team, you are one unit and secrets have no place in a relationship that is as transparent and trustworthy.
That does not mean that you both need to give each other every minute detail of where you are, where you will go and what you will eat every second. It only means to let your partner generally know where you are and that you are safe.
Well this is one promise you need to make to him, as girls usually do not forget what happened months before and suddenly bring it up in a fight. That only worsens the situation. What is over is done with, it is in the past, so burry it there and then!
Yes, there are times when your work commitments are important and many a times you need to give all your time to a family emergency. Such situations are acceptable occasionally, but in general, you two must always keep each other and your new bond as a priority before everything else.
Yes, you will have innumerable fights, small, big, heartbreaking ones, but the word ‘divorce’ should not be the solution to every problem of yours. Every normal couple fights, but the idea here is to mend what’s not right instead of looking for an escape.
Be grateful to God for giving you each other, show each other off to your friends and never talk ill of each other in front of a third person.
If you make a mistake, always own up to it. Playing blame games will only make matters worse and turn most situations into a fight. Blaming your spouse for your own fault or someone else’s fault for that matter is the meanest thing to do!
Well, unless your spouse has a night shift routine at work; make it a point to eat at least one meal together, which will most likely be your dinner. Talk about each other’s day; keep each other in the loop always!
The comfort and satisfaction it gives is immense. It is not always necessary to make love every time you cuddle; just being really close and holding each other is what is needed at times.
When it is done with both the partners consent, that is called making love. But when it is forced, its meaning changes to being physical abuse and in extreme cases- marital rape. So, be sure you never cross that line and see your partner’s comfort at all times.
Make some changes in yourself to make it easier for your spouse to adjust with you. Be it staying in a small house, managing without any help, keeping up with odd working hours, managing with one vehicle or being good to the irritating and interfering relatives!
And, not just in the beginning of your marriage. Although you know that your spouse loves you, but hearing these three words makes it even more special. Also, say it like you mean it and not just like part of the routine or just for the heck of it!
There will be times when you might not like what they said or did, but no one is perfect, right? Now your partner’s folks are your family too, so always respect and care for them as your own.
If they were meant to be out in the open, your partner would spread it himself/herself. They confided in you because they trust you. So it is your responsibility to keep that trust!
Travelling is a therapy; it widens your horizons and you get to discover not only the new places you visit, but yourself too. And travelling together as a couple brings you closer than ever, helps you discover new things about each other and makes you more aware and mature in your relationship. It also brings freshness and a sense of excitement in your marriage.
No one is a mind reader, not you, not your spouse. So, instead of making it difficult for your partner, say what’s on your mind; what makes you sad, what makes you happy and why you are upset. Be open about the way you feel and how you want things to be.
Friends are the necessities of life. Only you yourself can choose them, as likeminded people tend to find each other. So, never interfere in each other’s friendship matters or ask your spouse to choose between their friends and you. Give them the freedom that they totally deserve.
All these promises are meant to be made both ways. You need to ask your would-be spouse to make them to you, but he too deserves them back. Being understanding and adjusting towards each other will make your marriage rock solid and avoid any obstacle that come its way. It takes two to tango and such promises made at the beginning will help you both be clear and fair to each other right from the start.