By Sharanya Manola Last Updated:
Planning your own wedding, especially when your mother-in-law wants to take part in it can make you go crazy. While some brides-to-be lose it completely and lock horns with their MILs, there are those who seem to know the art of diplomacy and handle their mummy jis with ease.
If you too want to be in control and share a good rapport with your hubby’s mother, do be careful of the following scenarios that may come up during your wedding planning. Also, take a look about what you can do in such situations. Hope it helps!
Some women are always high on energy and like participating and being involved in social-dos, especially when there is a wedding. Now that it is her own son getting married, she may want to take charge and be updated or be asked to take decisions.
What you should do: Take her out for lunch, discuss stuff with her and update her about things that she should know. The rest is for you to deal with. Just do not make her feel left out because many times circumstances, and not intentions, come between relationships.
Her wedding outfit may hold significance for her, so you need to duck out of it without hurting her sentiments, if you really don’t want to wear it. Besides, expect that she may want to join you to buy your wedding outfit. And dearie, there is nothing much you can do about it.
What you should do: Tell her that you want your wedding outfit to be a surprise for everybody. You can take her with you to help finalise the outfit of the shortlisted ones (but finalise the ones you like). Have your parents and siblings around too so that you don’t give into MIL-induced pressure. To make things even better, you can always try and improvise and use something of her wedding outfit with yours. That will solve both the purposes, yours as well as hers.
You may be super-busy managing expectations at work and at home, but then with your super-imposing mother-in-law, you may have to be super-cautious. You can’t just hang up on her when you get annoyed with her habit of discussing stuff a million times while all you want is get done with it peacefully.
What you should do: First, do not snap at her. This is the test of your patience level, so make sure you keep your cool and probably make a list of things to discuss with her. Let her know what is done already and what is left to be done. She may have never ever planned a wedding or maybe it’s the first wedding in her family after decades. Give her that benefit of doubt.
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Like you, your mom-in-law too is anxious about how things would turn out. Maybe she does not know she is panicking and needs help, so that she can relax and not be bothered about every small detail of the shaadi.
What you should do: Speak to your fiancé and politely convey to him that how his mum’s anxiety is getting to you. He may speak to her, find out what is troubling her and settle things his own way.
Your wedding is most likely going to be a lot different than your parents. You might want a theme-based wedding, or a destination wedding, with only a few friends and close family members. While your parents might understand what you want, your mother-in-law may insist on having her own way. Problems may arise if you guys have different opinions.
What you should do: Involve your partner because it is the two of you who decided on how to get married. Reach a mid-way if you cannot have it the way you guys planned and avoid getting in an argument with your mother-in-law.
Look girls, your relationship dynamics with your mum-in-law will set off right from the moment you meet her. From then, till you are married and become her bahu, you are under no pressure to do ji huzoori. Being honest sometimes does everyone a hell lot good than otherwise. Just make sure you know when is the right time to speak and shut up! For now, good luck with planning your wedding. Once you follow our advice and listen to your heart AND mind, it is not so difficult after all!