The writer doesn’t hold any conservative opinions regarding the institution of marriage or the role of a wife.
Lady B: Your daughter must have faced a lot of problems after marriage, right?
Lady S: Well, I had told her mother in law before marriage only that my daughter had just graduated as an MBA and therefore, does not know “Ghar ka kaam”.
This is the current reality of the Indian matrimony scene where the movement of women emancipation has also resulted in many sullen mother in laws who are a little miffed because their newlywed, college educated, 6-figure salary wielding ‘bahus’ are not proficient home makers.
No one is to be blamed for this situation because education is very important in life. None of the social and cultural obligations should come in way of proper and modern education, especially in case of females. However, that doesn’t mean that an educated bride will not have to manage home or take up domestic responsibilities after marriage. For all we know, the term “Sarvgunna Sampanna” now includes “educated/graduate” in addition to the host of other qualities.
Finishing Schools to the Rescue
There are people who find the idea of learning every day basic cooking in a workshop very appalling and I can only imagine their reaction about proper “bridal finishing schools” that teach the would-be-brides everything about being a “susheel and sanskari bahu”.
The etiquette teachers at these schools conduct sessions in various aspects of home management, premarital counseling, personal grooming, saree tying, culinary skills, domestic budgeting, relationship management, communication skills, dining and cocktail etiquette etc. Amusingly, information on legal rights of each partner in marriage is also provided along with knowledge about contraceptive measures (which is of course not highlighted in the brochure!)
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It’s like if your introvert daughter is to marry a high profile, globetrotting businessman, then enrolling her in a proper communication skill and etiquette class is the best wedding gift you can give her.
Historical Perspective
The concept of a finishing school is not a new one. During regency days, young maidens had to compulsorily take training before making their debut before the society. They were taught about how to address various designation holders, how to waltz, how to make a seating arrangement according to the rank of the guests and other norms of social etiquette. They did not have to learn how to make ‘aloo ka paratha’ and ‘gajar ka halwa’.
Finishing schools have been there in the metros for quite some time and they have forayed into the tier-2 cities in the past two to three years. Some of them even have the option of customizing a course to suit the specific needs of the bride-to-be.
And my dear brides-to-be, when you go through the brochure and various modules and skills that they offer to teach, I wouldn’t blame you for feeling like a laptop, ready to be dispatched with all the software installed ;)
By the way, don’t you feel the concept is a little sexist too? Because none of these kinds of schools exist for the grooms-to-be! But the world is not always fair, right?
