By Jayashri Jayashankar Last Updated:
After a lot of permutations and combinations, you finally make peace with the whole idea of getting married. But at the same time, you can't debate the universal truth about marriage (be it love or arranged), that it makes everybody nervous. And you will agree that when it is an arranged marriage, the intensity of the situation is crazier than ever. Because we all like to believe that a known devil is better than an unknown friend. Jokes apart, it's difficult to define what an arranged marriage is.
But it is quite like a jigsaw puzzle where one needs to be patient and clear while putting the colourful pieces together. Of course the journey of finding the right person in an arranged set-up won't be that smooth, but no matter what, the bitter sweet feeling it will bring along will always remain special.
If you are set to walk down the aisle or contemplating marriage anytime sooner, here's what you are most likely to experience, and if you have already gone through this, just sit back and enjoy and tell us if we missed something.
If you are the filmy sorts, read about these 7 Bollywood movies that celebrated arranged marriages.
Let's accept it, looks do matter. Any guy would love to marry a girl like Aishwarya Rai, and any girl would love to marry a Greek God sort of guy like Hrithik Roshan. But the point is, is it worth being all dreamy about your future spouse and not being realistic with your expectations? Certainly not!
So, while considering an arranged marriage, it is extremely important to set realistic goals and set the right criterion for your future spouse. Besides how he/she looks, you need to focus on every parameter before you embark on spouse hunt. Focus more on the character and nature of a person than just looks. Because, it's simple. Looks don't matter in the long run, but compatibility does!
This is the next phase you will invariably enter once you are done registering and uploading your profile on different matrimonial websites and other forums. Your next point of focus is reviewing and shortlisting profiles. It's fun yet tiring. While there’s nothing wrong in analysing a profile, but putting even the minutest of detail under scrutiny is not always a good idea.
So, decide on a timeline (for yourself) and move swiftly while at it. Exchange information frequently to initiate the next phase of casual interaction so that you get going in some direction.
The next step post shortlisting and information exchange is the interaction phase that takes place on that legendary first meeting. This more of a formal interactive phase will involve lot of small talks on superficial things like job, work, their respective families, etc but just stay put and play along. This may have a snail pace but every step will get better with time. Cutting long story short, give this iconic moment a chance to see how it unfolds and most of the times, this is what you will remember the most till the end.
And remember these: 5 Foolproof Ways To Avoid Awkward Silences During Arranged Marriage Meeting
Based on the information exchanged between the girl and the boy, or let's put it this way, based on how courteous the girl and the boy managed to be during their first meeting, the respective families gear up to take charge. This period can be a bit tricky. Maybe that one meeting was not enough for you, or perhaps the person you met feels it's too soon to involve families. But either way, the families are a part of it now, and you just have to go with the flow.
This is going to be the best time because finally you are no longer under the scrutiny, no one is closely judging you! You can chill, hang out together, meet each others' friends, and get set to explore the romance angle, with no restrictions whatsoever!
Well not exactly, around this time, maybe movie dates, dinner dates and if you are lucky, maybe a party night is allowed, but we guess, it's enough till you are officially engaged. But do make the most of this time. Use this time to know each other better, tell each other your fears, your passion, your dreams, share as much as you can.
Having met a couple of times, having understood each other's temperament, knowing what your future spouse likes/dislikes, you have finally reached which can now be called a full circle.
No matter how cliché it may sound, all marriages, both arranged and love need constant nurturing and understanding. The good thing that comes with it is the lifelong companionship of someone you love and relate to! So, no matter how excruciating these phases may seem, enjoying them, with the perspective of having someone compatible, is what will make this journey enriching and enjoyable!
Whether you have already found your life partner or searching for one through arranged marriage, remember that every relationship has its own beauty and charm. Well, just because you are finding your better half through an arranged setup, it doesn't mean that it is a regressive or an old idea. ItRead More