By Sreejan Guha Niyogi Last Updated:
Relationships are much like bridges; a lot goes into the construction and maintenance, but breaking them is a lot easier. Especially when it comes to marriages, both partners can tend to take each other for granted, and behave in ways that can damage the bond. But even though both partners are responsible for a healthy marriage, there are some things that men can avoid doing. These are those things that many men might be used to doing and leaving their wives hurt and upset.
Here are the five very common mistakes that men make that can destroy their marriage.
Leaving your wife alone, especially when she needs you the most, is the quickest way to damage your relationship with her. Spending too much time with friends every day, always prioritising work before her needs, or being aloof when she is talking, are actions that create a rift between a husband and wife. Women are very strong emotionally, but there are times when they need their husbands, who are supposed to be their friends for life, to be present as anchors.
(Do you think only men make mistakes in a relationship? Well, here is an eye-opener for all you women out there: 7 Things Women Do that Destroy a Relationship)
She might want to discuss simple things like a tiff with her best friend, or maybe something more serious happening at work. Being emotionally distant can make her lose trust in you, leading to the relationship crumbling. Isolation and emotional deprivation are a woman’s greatest fears, and if forced into such situations, she is bound to seek a way out.
Intimacy need not always mean making love. Physical intimacy is of course an important part, but not “the only” way to be close! Women need emotional bonding, mutual reciprocation and soul connection. Being emotionally unavailable, distant, and only interested in the physical act, breaks her heart.
Try to be more attentive towards her emotions, compliment her, engage in romantic gestures like cuddling, kissing, holding hands, etc., so she feels more loved, needed and cared for.
Infidelity is the most detrimental to a relationship, and this has been proved time and again. But did you know that you need not actually have an extramarital affair for that? Things like constantly gawking at other women, passing flirtatious comments at her or your female friends, taking her lightly when she voices her insecurities, teasing her about it when she is upset, and many such acts are reflective of emotional infidelity.
These things can make you lose respect in her eyes, and her being seriously upset about it. Learn to draw a line where required, and try to understand and comprehend if she speaks out about your inappropriate behaviour.
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There will certainly be moments when you get irritated or annoyed by something she does, and that is alright too. But constantly chewing on the same subject over and over again, being abusive, making bitter comments about things she does, or being angry about work situations, monetary issues, family problems, etc., can be the final nail to damaging the relationship. No self-respecting woman will be able to take the constant mental torture that this behaviour entails.
She will understand and support you if there is a crisis, but it will be emotionally draining for her if you behave in the way just mentioned! So, weigh your words before you utter them. And, if you think you suffer from temper issues, take professional help well in time.
No matter how much you deny, men have always been seen as the more egoistic ones. It does take time for most men to bend or accept their mistakes, and apologise. Especially men with a more conventional upbringing and attitude always expect their wives to be the ones to step down. Mistakes are unavoidable in marriages, but what promotes a simple mistake to a big understanding is holding on to your ego.
Apologising is often seen as an act of weakness, but in reality it can be a huge marriage saver. It can just make things lighter, and arguments to end quicker.
Do you think your behaviour is anything like the points mentioned above? Take it as an alarm call; your wife might be silently suffering. Just go and give her a hug, and vow to make your marriage better, happier and healthier.
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