You can choose your life partner, but not your mother-in-law. Once you are married to your partner, you kind of marry his/her mother too. Love them or hate them, you just cannot avoid them. But, not every mother-in-law is the same. Every MIL has some unique characteristics that make her different from your friends’ or relatives’ mother-in-law.
And ways to deal with them are also different. If you are wondering how many types of mothers-in-law can possibly be out there and how to handle them, then just scroll down to know the answers.
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Losing her son/daughter to you is what makes her jealous. This envious feeling might be due to her over-protective nature, territorial feeling or the thought that he will no longer care or love his/her mom. And, winning such an MIL is not an easy task.
Praise her how well she has raised her son/daughter, and that you too would love to inculcate the same values in your child so that he/she can become like his father/mother. This might just do the trick.
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‘My child had so many good proposals, but till date I just do not know why he/she selected you’, ‘He/she could have done better’ or ‘You are not the type of wife/husband I imagined for my son/daughter’ or some similar kind of taunts is what you will hear every now and then from your MIL. And, she will not hesitate even for a second to say such things in front of people. No matter what you do or how happy your husband/wife is with you, your MIL will never be pleased.
Ask her why she does not think that you are not good for his son/daughter. Tell her that her child is happy with you, and you both truly love each other. Tell her that she may have had many good proposals, but he/she chose her/him to be his wife/husband for some good reason, and your MIL should not doubt her son’s/daughter’s decision!
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From the moment she walks into your house till the time she leaves it- she talks about the changes you need to make in the house. She will not ask your opinion about anything, but will always give you orders, which you have to follow even if you do not like it. The news of her arrival makes you nervous and anxious rather than happy.
Tell them that although what she said is right, but you like certain things as they are or you have a different way of getting things done. Just make sure you say this with a smile and with a lot of politeness. You do not want to hurt her pride!
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Dealing with such a MIL can be a huge challenge especially if you are laid-back and not such a perfectionist daughter-in-law/son-law. Your MIL will watch your every action. How you dress up, chop vegetables, iron clothes, take care of kids, attend your friends, your etiquettes and many more things. She will always tell you how to do this and that in the right way. With her around the house, you will always be scrutinised. You will feel like you are giving some sort of agni pariskha.
Just relax and do not be nervous when she is around. Tell her that you are not as perfectionist as her, but will love to learn a thing or two.
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Your every business is her business! She loves to know of every single detail about your daily life, the things you and your husband talk about, who called you and why, what did you people talk about, when you are having a baby and every other detail related to your life.
Discuss with your partner and set boundaries about what to and what not to tell your MIL. It is always good to keep such an intrusive party at bay as they can sometimes sabotage the relationship.
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And, if you have a MIL who has none of these qualities, then you sure are one lucky person! Your mother-in-law is a saint. Just love her and she will love you back with all her heart. So, which type of mother-in-law do you have and how did you deal with her? Do share with us.
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