By Akanksha Gupta Last Updated:
If you're a mother, then there are cent per cent chances you would have suffered from mom's guilt. A mom's guilt is not just limited to a working mother, who cannot spend enough time with her child because of work as much as a stay-at-home mom can. Karan Mehra's actress-cum-influencer wife, Nisha Rawal spoke about a mom's guilt in her YouTube video and she has explained in detail how one can overcome the same. Nisha started her Instagram page, The Motherhood Chronicles, wherein she shares her motherhood experiences, tips and facts about pregnancy with her to-be mommies' followers.
From early signs of pregnancy, clothing and hacks for to-be moms, pregnancy sleep positions, intimacy during pregnancy, the role of a man in his wife’s pregnancy, post-partum depression for men, mom-shaming, abortion, pregnancy edema, pregnancy hacks, the importance of reading to children, breastfeeding, gender-neutral parenting to sharing glimpses of her pregnancy journey and motherhood phase with her little munchkin, Kavish Mehra, Nisha Rawal talks about everything she has experienced with a hope to help everyone out there.
In her YouTube video, as a part of The Motherhood Chronicles, Nisha Rawal spoke about a mom's guilt and explained in detail what is it, how one can overcome it and what can be the triggers for a woman to help her identify the same. To begin her video, Nisha spoke about what is a mom's guilt, "Mom's guilt. The expectations from a mom are limitless. And now with the onset of social media, everything increases manifolds, including mom's guilt especially when we see other moms just donning it so right. Their babies sitting on a high-chairs, giggling and eating spinach like mine would down chocolate. Their toddlers neatly dressed up alongside in twinning outfits and making a picture-perfect moment when I would have a data overload on my phone of one thousand pictures just to get that one proper picture where we both looked like civilised human beings. You know, that feeling right there, that's mom guilt."
Simplifying it further with the examples of 'the shoulds' that often emerge in a mom's mind, Nisha Rawal continued, "To further simplify it, that feeling of not doing enough as a parent or not doing it right. 'The shoulds' like I should have given him paranthas instead of cookies in tiffin today, I should have ironed his clothes better, I should have enrolled him a writing class this summer, I should have not let him eat that chocolate last Saturday, I should have dropped him to school myself and blah blah blah. There's no generalised formula for raising children, you need to improvise. Just because you chose to formula feed, you aren't a bad mum. Just because you can't spend five hours with your kid every day, you aren't a bad mum. How do you identify mom's guilt? A little mom guilt, can nudge you on the correct course, like if your child is only eating junk and chocolates all day and every day of the week and if you feel guilty, yes please do something about it. Bad, is toxic parenting, bad is abusive parenting."
Asking women to identify what triggers their mom guilt before working to remove it completely and then question themselves if they're really guilty, Nisha Rawal added, "What can we do to overcome mom guilt? Identify your trigger of when you feel mom guilt the most, when your friends say how their child is reaching all the milestones before time? When other children do activities better than your child? Other parents feeding choices? Make a quick note on your phone and study them later once you’ve identified these triggers, choose like-minded people, put your child's mental and physical health first, listen to your heart and stick to your values. Now, ask yourself, are you really guilty? This question you ask yourself needs to be honestly answered to yourself because if you still feel guilty without a valid reason then you might try to overcompensate for your absence by loading your child with gifts and letting him engage beyond his routine which will definitely lead to the opposite of what might be good for your child and that could adversely affect your relationship with your child in the long run."
Ending her note by asking mothers not to make other moms guilty, Nisha Rawal concluded her video on the note, "So, what we need to understand in the nutshell is, if we don’t want it then we need to become the mums who don’t make other mums feel guilty which is primary reason for mom's guilt. Don’t do to others what you don't want to be done to yourself. Don’t criticize that mom in the park for giving her baby a pacifier. Don’t comment if you see a mom having fun while her child is on an iPad. Maybe she has just had an anxiety attack and the child is watching an iPad for the first time ever. Don’t judge and you shall not be, that's one way to break the cycle and the other is to stop comparing, trust your choices, your values, make your own decisions based on your unique situation."
Have you ever suffered from a mom's guilt? Let us know how you overcame it!