By Meenu Bahuguna Last Updated:
People in the western countries are at their wit’s end when it comes to comprehending the rationale behind the arranged marriage system. What baffles them most is the success rate that it enjoys. But, there is a lot more to this traditional system of arranging matches than what meets the eyes.
So, here are 10 most important things that you need to know, or think about, while going for an arranged marriage.
Love knows no age, but in order to find a good match through arranged marriage, it is imperative to keep the age in consideration. Traditionally, the preferable age for girls is around 25 or 26 and for guys, the best is considered to be no later than 30. However, there is no hard-and-fast rule pertaining to the age factor in today's time.
Take a pen and paper, and list down all the things that you expect in your spouse. Think about how your partner should be and what all qualities do you desire in them. You need to keep an open mind over certain compromises that you might have to make.
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Expectations in an arranged marriage tend to run high. But remember, higher expectations might lead you to greater disappointments. At the end of the day, it is not necessary that all the virtues that you desire can actually be found in one person.
While opting for an arranged marriage, take everything in account. It is best to strive for utmost compatibility even in terms of economic standing of both the families. In fact, for bride's parents, it is a way of ensuring financial security for their daughter.
Once you decide whom would you spend your entire life with, it is advisable to learn How to Start Your Financial Planning Together as a Couple
Arranged marriage is about suitability and compatibility. Beauty can easily take a back seat. Your partner need not be as dashing as Hrithik Roshan or as stunning as Katrina Kaif. Looks are important, but not the most important thing.
Now, this is the million dollar question: how can you understand a person in just one or two meetings? At times, even a lifetime seems too less to truly understand someone. It is best to share your feelings about the person with someone you are close to, maybe your friends or siblings.
Yes, there are certain set codes of conduct that the society at large expects you to follow. For example, do sufficient background research about the person before consenting to meet. Answering in negation after meeting twice or thrice may be detrimental to the other person’s self confidence.
Feel free to take advice from those who you feel will be able to guide you in the best possible way. Do not make any elaborate show of your feelings, until and unless you are sure of the response from the other side as well. During the initial stages, it is best to tread the new path as carefully as possible. After all, it is the biggest decision of your life.
Arranged marriages are based on commitment and it is the most necessary element that keeps a relationship going. So, express your feelings aloud only when you are sure about your commitment level towards that other person. Also, you need to be sure that the other person is as much committed towards this match as you are.
While this list will help you to pass certain phases of an arranged marriage easily, also take a look at this complete Arranged Marriage Guide for rest of the things
Do not marry a girl or a guy just because your parents or relatives asked you to. It has to be your own decision. After all, you alone will be responsible and will have to bear the consequences for whatever happens in your life.
Now you know that there is a lot more to these arranged marriages than what meets the eyes. Whether it is an arranged marriage or love, every union should be based on few key principles of commitment, trust and love. So, go ahead and fall in love!
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