By Team BollywoodShaadis Last Updated:
Every couple on this planet goes through this hopelessness phase at a certain point of time in their marriage. It may be triggered by certain actions, or may by a gradual build-up of frustration - whatever be the reason, it affects you and alters your judgment. So, before you do something stupid and permanently damage your marriage, read through these smart ways to save yourself when you are down with the fever of despair.
Here, we will not be providing with some magical cures for hopelessness, because simply we don’t have it! instead, we will be will be helping you out with some easy tricks to save your marriage when you are totally hopeless about it.
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Try to engage in as little verbal communication as possible during this phase of yours. Go out on double dates, visit friends and families, spend holidays out at fun parks, hit the malls, catch latest movies, you get it, right? I mean do not go out for a candlelight dinner or go for a romantic date under the stars and stuff like this. Talking often sets a chain reaction of thoughts and unnecessarily crowds the joyous moments of life. Actions without any words actually have their advantages.
An idle mind is the devil’s workshop! When you are depressed and hopeless, the electrical circuits in your brain get messed up. The brain actually fails to distinguish between the joyous and the sad signals. Keeping yourself busy with some work will provide a short circuit for the brain to drain out negative thoughts and will actually help a lot.
According to research psychologist John Gottman – “Marriages survive if the good to bad interaction ratio is limiting to 5:1”. Loneliness is a fragile state of mind and if the bad interactions relatively supersede the good ones, you will act out of fear and do something you will later come to regret. So, if you take my statistical advice, be very careful with your words and actions during this time.
If you fail to do so within your marriage, try to seek inspiration elsewhere. Try for some success at work, at games, while out with friends- these little things often play detrimental roles in saving your relationship. Have more sex with your spouse if it is possible, read inspirational books, listen to mood-lifting music- all these things will increase your positive energy and will also keep you stabilised. According to Elle Chase who is a certified life coach- “Life is dynamic -- it has to be in order for it to evolve”. Or in other words, find a solution and survive the storm.
According to Carol Morgan who is a psychology professor- “There can always be a hundred reasons to leave but only one to stay- that is Love”. Now I know it’s a big task to put others problems ahead of you when you are feeling down, but this is the love of your life I am talking about. Don’t just let go of him/her because you are going through a phase! Think about the irreversible damages that you will be causing to him/her!
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Hopelessness is a state of mind. It is a dark shadow casted over the valley of happiness which isolates out the remnants of despair.