The tears are quite natural during the wedding ceremony. Even your older aunts will be seen dabbing at the corner of their eyes when you say ‘I do’. It’s their way of expressing joy at your wedding and quite probably, they are reminiscing about their own wedding or that of their eldest daughter. Wedding moments make for very precious memories in a woman’s life, and the most cherished memories do sometimes play havoc with our emotions, right?
The bride and her parents give in to tears and emotions not only at the moment of goodbye (‘vidaai’) but also during ceremonies such as ‘sindoor-daan’, ‘kanya-daan’ and ‘saptpadi’.
In Hindu wedding, these are the special ceremonies that unite the bride and the groom in the holy bond of matrimony. It’s like with each of these ceremonies, the time for farewell draws nearer, when the bride will leave her childhood home and relations behind to begin her life anew.
During these teary eyed moments, a groom almost begins to feel guilty for apparently being the cause of “khushi ke aansu” of so many people, including the bride to whom he has promised a lifetime of love and allegiance. Truth be told, many grooms have confessed to being quite confused as to what should be their behavior or expression.
The Appropriate Conduct
Groom, when he observes his bride trying hard to control her tears, is often at a loss to understand what he is expected to say or if at all he is expected to say anything. A silent tear rolling down her cheek makes life slightly more difficult at that moment.
A little gesture of understanding such as a fleeting eye contact will comfort her immensely. If a sister or a friend is already there to cheer her up, let them do it. Do not do anything that may seem as if you are over-reacting or getting in the way.
It’s like she is anyway going to go away from them and your positive gesture of help may also be taken a little in the negative light.
No Stoic Stance
A stoic stance is when you show absolutely no expression whatsoever to the cataclysm of emotions around you, which can sadly be interpreted as indifference or your insensitivity towards the whole thing. Nobody will think that the expression is because of confusion over what to say or what you say might go wrong.
Therefore, keep your expression calm and serene, as in indicating that you understand the emotions involved in the tears and the situation. During Vidaai, the bride’s father and brother will shake hands with you, ask you to take care of her and also tell you how you are getting the best gem of their family. Accept their precious gift with all your heart; your smile should be such that you are proud yet humble recipient of the gift and you are ready to shoulder all the responsibilities.
Image: Faizan Photography