The institution of marriage is one that is based on commitments and innumerable expectations, expectations that seldom beget disappointments. To keep your part of the commitment and fulfill the expectations, a quick short self-introspection session before the marriage will help enormously. Take some time off and reflect if you are prepared to get married ‘holistically’, that is physically, emotionally, sexually and financially.
Physically Fit: A lean or petite figure does not always mean physical fitness. On the contrary, the new brigade of anorexic brides is notorious for having uninvited cramps, headache and giddiness. The formula for physical fitness is: Strength, Stamina and Suppleness. Weddings are hectic; all those shopping excursions and planning frenzy can leave you drained, causing you to fall sick, to your ultimate horror and distaste, at the very onset of honeymoon.
Oh…do not swoon at the thought. There is a way out. There are still a few months left for your wedding, hit the gym or join dance classes or power yoga; anything that builds your stamina and keeps you supple (things that will also improve your potential multiple times)
Emotionally Secured: You know your emotional quotient the best and the fact that marriage can play havoc with your emotional balance is not very comforting. After all, you will be abandoning many of your ways of life and adapting to your husband’s and his family. A reality check is what you required. Enumerate the changes that will take place, compromises that you will need to make, and the ways in which you can voice your opinions without sounding rebellious. Marriages sadly are not only about you and him; they involve everybody who is important to both of you.
Financially Sound: Money matters must be dealt in a straightforward manner because well, Money Matters! Understand that there is nothing wrong or un-chivalrous in the guy wanting to share your financial booty (if you’re a working woman). If his money is yours, then vice versa is also true. Chart out your career plans, the changes that you can accommodate post marriage and talk to each other about it. If you have some prior financial commitments and debts, then be candid about that too!
Sexually Aware: Sex is overrated, virginity is no more a prized possession but while the former is an integral part of a strong marital bond, the latter is still true for the traditional Indian society, where the shy bride may know very little about the birds and the bees. If you have reservations regarding the issue, talk to your wise and most trusted companions about it. If you feel comfortable talking to your fiancé, then do that. But do not say anything to put him off!
Sex education before the marriage in all the societies was taken care of by the mother of the bride, who has happily relinquished the role to the media that almost always misguides them. Irrespective of how it happens, sexual awareness before the marital act is very important and often becomes the responsibility of the groom to introduce the bride to the levels of intimacy patiently and wisely.
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