Relationships are increasingly getting strained and keeping a marriage alive and kicking seems rather difficult these days. We are surrounded by couples who have broken-up or are divorced. Separation is no longer limited to celebrities but has seeped into our everyday, city culture. There are no magic cures to correct this. No single remedy can be recommended for keeping your marriage healthy. However, we have collected a few pointers from Marriage Counselors and Relationship Experts that can help you to be happier in your marriage.
Take a Reality Check on Your Marriage
This might sound a bit overstretched but you need to keep a tab on how your marriage is progressing. This essentially refers to looking-out for signs of secrecy that are an outcome of a weakening marital bond. If your husband’s Facebook profile seems to be overpopulated with messages/updates from his Ex’s, you should realize that he is emotionally deviating away. Similarly, getting too flirty on social media handles means that psychologically, he has started looking outside his marriage for adding spice to his daily life. Attending phone calls in secrecy, where the caller’s ID flashing on the screen makes him a bit uneasy should raise alarms. These are signs that communication between you two has become less effective.
Marriage Requires Daily Deeds
They say that good things come to those who are patient. What this also means is that you need to put-in sustained efforts and this applies to your marriage too. It is commonly acknowledged that the rush of a first romance or feelings of being madly in love cannot be sustained in most marriages. However, you can invest in your marriage with small, regular contributions. This includes expressing your affection or appreciation for what your husband does for you. Asking him regularly about how he feels at his workplace, his stress levels or catching a TV show together keeps the marital bond strong.
Accept Marriage in its Practical Entirety
Women seem to have a more romanticized idea of what a marriage is, compared to men. It should be understood that the high school romances and first dates cannot be recreated after a few years of marriage. After some time, a marriage seems akin to a combination of friendship, attraction and companionship. Dump the books that preach about keeping your marriage “hot”. At best, a marriage can sustain as a healthy relationship with intimacy and sharing. Remind yourself that there are no “perfect couples”--they don’t exist so stop trying to be one.
Shower Him with Attention if Not Love
Yes, most couples complain that after some time, love in its most natural, raw form is rather hard to emote. However, one supplementary thing that you can do with great effectivity is making him feel that he occupies a significant part of your focus. This means taking care of the smaller things he likes, picking-up his favorite stuff every time you go to the market and complimenting him for the smallest of achievements. For instance, if he has been trying to lose weight, complimenting and kissing him for just losing a pound establishes that you do care for him though the sparks might be missing.
Besides these recommendations, do you think there is anything else that is necessary to keep a marriage interesting rather than just surviving?