It would be fair to say what we are living in a highly, sexually-charged environment. Every aspect of intimacy is openly talked about and promoted through films and television. This raises some important questions if you are a woman—what if you want to delay having sex? Is there a reason why you should delay being intimate with him? The peer pressure is immense and this isn't limited to a particular age-group or related only to the issue of losing your virginity. Even for women who have been through a series of relationships, sometimes it becomes hard-to-decide whether they want to get intimate with somebody or wait. This article tries to present some answers to such questions.
1. Having Apprehensions—are you absolutely sure?
There is one problem with having sex—you cannot undo it despite your best efforts. There is no remedy that is going to take away the memories of how he touched you or how it felt to be with him in the bed. Thus, unless you are absolutely sure about him, it is better to delay the intimacy. Surety is more likely to come by spending more time with him. However, if you get into the act absolutely spontaneously, without having thoughts about the repercussions, then you cannot blame him or yourself. Acts of sudden passion don’t leave any room for introspection or repentance.
2. Taking Risks—are you sure about him?
There is always a risk that despite taking all the recommended precautions, you might contract a sexually transmitted infection from him. Other possible problems include accidental impregnation. You might be ready to deal with such issues but are you sure he is man enough and psychologically mature to support you through such problems?
3. Quantifying Sex—are you trying to measure him?
A common trend is emerging where engaged couples like to be intimate before tying the knot. In fact, many times women initiate the entire thing. It seems they want to find about compatibility from a sexual perspective too. However, this isn't as wise as it might sound. Can sleeping with him, a few times, provide you precise answers about his bedroom capabilities? Sex lives of couples generally tend to improve even if it had been a disaster or unbelievably good during the first, few times. Using intimacy as a measurement tool to decode whether he is husband-material might sound fashionable to some but for most, it is just being stupid.
4. Making Compromises—are you stepping on your self-respect?
Many Indian girls choose to be celibate until they get married. They do get involved in some degree of physicality but like to go all the way only with their husbands. You might be one of such girls, saying “Yes” to do it only because your boyfriend has been pressurizing you. Agreed, that in a relationship, you need to make compromises but this doesn’t imply suffocating your own beliefs. If he cannot understand this simple fact, maybe you two don’t bond at an emotional level.
5. Making it Mechanical—are you sure about really wanting to do it?
This refers to your degree of surety about starting a sexual relationship. Please note that you can be emotionally involved with somebody with the most minimal of physical contact or crave someone physically without having any emotions. If you wanted the sexual part to be a progression of your relationship, you might want to wait to be sure.
Please understand that the effort here is not to argue the act itself. The attempt is to make women sure about physically consummating their relationship.